i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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