no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize