she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize