We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize