You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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