I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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