she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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