Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize