5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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