Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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