I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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