lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
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I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize