His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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