she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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