I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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