I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
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Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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