She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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