highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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