did you get engaged???
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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