Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im holly from the hills drunk
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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