it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize