he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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