I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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