If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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