I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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