When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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