hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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