dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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