what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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