Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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I intend to get homeless drunk
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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