in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize