what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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