Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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