The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize