Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize