If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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