I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize