Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize