My first STD was from a foam party
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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