Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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