Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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