Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't put those talents on a resume
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize