finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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