ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize