What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She told me I should be a condom model.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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