She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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