Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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