I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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