Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize