Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry about my life...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize